Are you too blunt?

Take these steps if coworkers and close friends say you come across as blunt and hurt others without knowing it.

• Watch your choice of words. Don't preface remarks with dismissive or hostile works or phrases. Don't Say for Example: "It's obvious to me . . ." "I don't see how . . ." or "I can't believe . . ."
• Monitor your tone of voice. Even when your words are positive, your tone can convey hostility. How would you feel if someone said with a sarcastic edge, "That's a great piece of work"? You'd probably take the comment as an insult.
• Listen to yourself. Many people don't realize that their tone is gruff or negative sounding. One way to tell is to record yourself during a phone conversation. Listen to the take carefully. How do you sound? Friendly? Matter-of-fact? Or is there an unfriendly edge to your voice? Hearing what you sound like to other people can be a revelation. If there's a hostile edge to your voice, you'll need to consciously modify your tone.

- Adapted from "Bluntness," Tony Alessandra